A. R. S. Enclave

The long week's finally over

2007-02-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

Finally, the long week is over! Here's a little update on what's been happening. Firstly, my EXORs got disbanded. Well, not really disbanded - kinda like got reassigned. Myself? Yeah, I'm no longer the EXOR Head. I got reassigned/promoted to the Facilitator department - should I decide to accept reassignment instead of retiring from the whole Engine Event department.

I'm still considering.

Let's see. Well, one thing good about last week was that I got freed from all the 'politcally correct' restrictions laid down on me. I've got some ass to kick now. Max better watch out. That lying backstabber's organizing his own sorta coup against Engine's governing club. E²Matrix bastards.

Secondly, was the long hours staying back in the workshop to finish up my darn projects - especially one that involved building a soccer-playing robot/car made out of sheet metal, acrylic and some dang microchips. It's so easy to the point death seems really friendly right now.

So far, this week has kicked off to a good start. I woke up feeling inspired while listening to some old-school music. The girlfriend's gonna be out with some dude from her old sec 3 tuition class - hey, he's the one going broke near instantaneously, not me. I trust my Significant Other XD. AND I finally look good with long hair -.-

Well, let's just hope I do well for my Intercultural Letter Writing later. I've got an hour to mug, and so I shall.

I swear, Engine is turning into a gaming hub. Asides from the flash virus, the emulated Marvel vs. Street Fighter/Capcom game's spreading really really fast. Hell, it even reached the TP library computers. You can see geeks and the like flocking to the third floor just to play the damn game.

Of course, I'm not saying I'm not a geek. I'm more of a geek than I'd actually care to imagine. Which is why I end up playing the game EVEN AT HOME. ROFL It's addictive, to say the very least. If only my sisters were sporting enough to try kick my ass on it - for those of you who don't know, my remaining 2 unmarried sisters do play the Playstation 2 and some assorted PC games. Yes, my sisters are happening. Hell, my oldest sister who's working and married owns her own PS2. My siblings rock

Bleh, it's noon. I miss the good old days when I could wake up at this time. School's such a drag.

Anyway, I hope dad finally gets the 2007 edition of Norton Antivirus. My laptop got hit by a trojan a couple of months ago. But reformatting it would be pretty useless if I don't have the new version of Norton. I wouldn't be able to go online anyway.

2007 has been kinda bumpy. But things will get better, God-willing and so I hope. There's the upcoming home technology upgrade (dad's getting the antivirus; we're upgrading to wireless internet - not sure whether 512 or 1G), then there's my SIP next sem (i work a lot better than I study - though I actually do it pretty well this time), and last but not least, the girlfriend's gonna put me through another makeover.

I don't get girls and their 'must have so many clothes' syndrome. But like I've said before: Girls - can't live with them; don't wanna live without them.

Okie dokies. I better get my ass down to school. Maybe grab some lunch along the way - I'm craving for the Chocolate Waffle the bubble tea aunty sells downstairs. 'Till next time folks.

Too lazy to give a title

2007-01-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day, if you minus off the coughs, sneezes, fever, sorethroat and headaches.

Went to watch Pan Labyrinth with Ilyana. The show is a sadist-fest. I was getting all stressed up and pissed off with the one of the main characters, while my dearest girlfriend was busy crying away at the movie.

The underworld/supernatural aspects of the movie are kinda amusing, if not somewhat creepy. I swear, it seemed the main theme of the show was cutting - body parts here and there. Shudders

Okay, this running nose of mine is ser-i-ously bugging the shit outta me. My girlfriend seems to have the same illness as me. I wonder why. Whatever it is, I just hope we cure by Friday, which so happens to be our 8th Month together (though in actual fact it's 10-and-a-half months). LOVES.

Anyway, I finally got to talk to my oldest sister yesterday. It was her birthday. Happy [belated] Birthday again! So many stories to share. I find it amusing that her kittens are gay. Well, I only found out yesterday that most animals have somewhat bisexual behaviour. Disturbing.

It was good catching up with my sister. Bu, we all miss you. And Kuba too. Hugs from us.

Okay, I'm not gonna blog so much tonight. I need to get to sleep soon. Feeling terribly crappy. Will update again soon, I hope.

The Kings and the ARS

2007-01-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

It's ironic how the people you thought was one of yours, can turn on you so easily.

Look at the Smasak-Legender fallout 4 years ago. Look at the fallout I had with my S.O a year before that, and the one this year too. I find these rather exhausting. And now, I have to face two of my former comrade Diploma Heads.

If there's one thing I've learnt from my experience at home, and out in the big bad world, people in power desire only one thing - even more power. Two of the mentioned ex-Dip Heads are currently presidents of their respective Diploma Clubs.

The thing is, years back, the Diploma Head position was given to upcoming presidents and vice-presidents of each of the 9 diploma clubs. And back then, it seemed successful. It was successful because these people so happen to be very pleasant and capable people. Well, that and the fact that the diploma clubs had a very strong bond with one another.

This time round, only one club has nominated their upcoming President. AND the dip clubs aren't that close anymore. So taking the upcoming Ps and VPs to fill the slots in my Diploma Head team is extremely suicidal for Engine. That, and I don't find these people all that humble.

My batch of Diploma Heads were picked out based on our performance during our ENGenius Training Camp in April last year. After the April Orientation, three of the Diploma Heads went on to becoming Presidents of their respective Diploma Clubs, while the others became normal members in their main committees. Only Zulfaqar and myself remained untied by any club. Zul, well, did what he does best and totally vanished from the radar. Myself, I became the Engine ARShole. I attended at least 90% of Engine events. I've seen the entire picture.

The two presidents who're giving me problems now have kept to their own diploma clubs (E²Matrix and SME respectively). Well, these two are good buddies so their clubs tend to do lots of joint-ventures... but ultimately, they're limited to that.

Allowing the next batch of Ps and VPs to become my understudy diploma heads will only benefit the diploma clubs. AND the diploma clubs are NOT Engine. Besides, diploma clubs have nothing to do with diploma heads, though we do answer to Engineering Studies Club. ESC is the head club in the school, so that's a different picture altogether.

I train people to be Diploma Heads, not Heads of Diploma Clubs. Diploma Clubs have their own events, go use those to test your 'proteges'. Don't use my EXORs as your experiment. My EXORs are here to serve Engine, not your own agendas.

It's amusing how among the two troublemakers (IMO), one of them talks to me with an authoritative tone. Exsqueeze me, I don't have to answer to you. Be thankful I'm even willing to hear your stand. So be nice. :)

I wish I could be my usual ARSholic self when dealing with these 'Kings'. Sighs. It's all so stressful. Thank God I have Ilyana around. At least there's someone I can turn to for a better day. LOVES.

I need a vacation

2007-01-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

From today 'till tuesday, I am the head of the house. Dad, mom and my older sister have gone to Genting with some of my relatives (most of whom are just vacationing from the US and New Zealand).

I'm terribly exhausted. I gotta cut it out with my late nights.

Open House is in a few weeks time. I'm supposedly in the sub-com, but it seems I have a say in main-comm affairs too. It's scary really. About a month ago, I signed up to be a participant in the e-guides workshop and camp. Now I'm assistant to the head of Engine School student facilitators - and in this case, the workshop, camp and Open House.

I'll be out next fri and sat for camp. During this camp, I'm gonna have to pull a miracle outta my ass and find another 7 more Diploma Heads. It's not easy being Dip Head Leader. I thought being a Dip Head was bad... then I got this promotion. Lol

To my dear predecessor, HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU MANAGE?

But I am the ash-hole. I can do almost anything. I just need to put my mind to it.

Well, as I was saying. I only have 5 diploma heads thus far. They have impressed me greatly. I hope the next 7 I choose can live up to expectations. Sheesh. I was only supposed to find another 6. Then Engine just had to open up another course - Aviation Management and Services. I think I'll pick an Aerospace dude or dudette to fill this post.

I really love the idea that Jason Gay (head of the frontline and ra-ra people) came up with. Basically, he's incorporating an EX theme to Engine.

There's his EnthuzeeX, who are the Engineering Event Facilitators.

Then there's my EXors, who are the Diploma Heads-cum-facilitators.

Then there's the EnergiX, but I'm not gonna reveal too much about that.

A year ago, we Diploma Heads were just known as that. We existed separately from the rest of the hierarchy. Then during the October orientation, some of the Facilitators and Diploma Heads were put together to form the Facilitator-Diploma-Heads, called the XORs. But that was only for the Oct training camp and orientation.

Then a month ago, Gay gave me the task of being Dip Head Leader and allowed me to choose what I wanted my Dip Heads to be called, of course with the stipulation that it must have the initials EX somewhere in there. I chose to adopt the XOR name and added an E in the front. And whala - EXORs.

So to my precious EXORs, yes, you and the EnthuzeeX have a common origin - though you have an added lineage of the Diploma Heads.

I'm mentally and physically drained.

7's the Next Number

2006-12-26T04:47:00.000-08:00

This is Ash and Wasabi reporting to you live from ash-raf-sheikh.blogspot.com. In case you're all wondering who Wasabi is, he's the cutest green teddy bear around. Not really mine, but yeah, he's mine for the night. XD

Well, it's been an eventful one month. In fact, it's been a really eventful year.
2 relationships with the same girl consecutively. Haha life's a rollercoaster.

Well, today's my 7th Month with R Ilyana, so Happy 7th Month dear. Hope you had a great time today. LOVES. We sure have come a looooooong way. Haha and there's still more to go. Can't get enough of you. I love you so very much! XD

Well, here's another update. I have decided not to scrap the dance for TP Open House (ENG). I'm gonna amp up the intensity of the dance rehearsals. It's already been confirmed that Sarah and Andrew are no longer in. Not really sure about Ira. I'm just gonna have to find replacements.

Okay, I just realized the past three paragraphs have all started with 'well'. Lol

Hrm, after talking to my dearest today, plus watching Dodgeball and ECW's December to Dismember, I have finally found inspiration and a good concept for my SIX story. Though I'm not really going to make it a novel. This version I have in mind will be more of a fictional online series. It will be posted here.
*Please note you'll have to register and be cleared by me to read the series.

In other news, Guan Hui just showed myself and Ali the Halo 3 starry night trailer a few days back. It kinda got me kicking and wanting to play the games all over again. So currently, I'm replaying Halo 1. And again, I'm still freaked out by the Flood. Not so much the normal brutes, but more of the little termite-like critters. Shudders.

Okay, I think this entry is long enough. Ilyana, I hope you agree with me. Haha I love you!

Alright, I shall end my entry here for tonight. I owe Jason Gay a long-overdue report for my EXORs (Diploma Heads). Shall sleep early tonight. i've got to do a proj at noon tomorrow, and I have driving after that. Whoo! My 3-point turns rock!

Goodnight people. And remember, always think positive! ;D

Panic! in my heart

2006-12-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

Here's a short entry before I head to school and cramp my brain with more knowledge before my test at 3.30pm later.

Ilyana's should be returning today from Bangkok. I'm worried. I haven't gotten a missed call from her for more than 12 hours already. She's supposed to check with me every now and then. It's worrying.

Last night, I tried calling her phone - prolly more than 30 times at that. And i sent her a barrage of smses. Yet, I still didn't receive a single missed call. This morning, her phone can't be reached. I'm terribly terribly worried.

The worst part is, I have no idea which flight from Bangkok she's on. My heart's pounding so hard, I can't breathe properly. I hope I can focus today.

Dear God, please protect her. Please keep her and her family alive, safe, happy and soundly protected in your care. If need be, take me in her place. Just keep her far away from harm, danger, trouble and death. Protect her, please.

A Thought-Twisting Experiment

2006-11-22T05:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have decided to return to the blogging world full-time for real. Yes, after much pestering and complaints.

Firstly, I finally hit the big 6 month mark more than a week ago. Life unsingled is bliss. Hey, when a relationship goes through its lows, that's a blessing in disguise. That's when sincerity, or lack thereof, reveals itself especially when unwanted. I love her with all my heart.

I am exceptionally touched. Ilyana went to VivoCity last week while I was having dance training in school. She spent hours looking for the perfect jacket/sweater for me - and it was not in vain.

Seriously, it was almost as perfect as she is for me. lol I don't know why, but everytime I think she makes my life complete, she just has to one-up herself. It's amusing and incredibly, indirectly, intangibly touching. Do you know how hard it is to find a partner who never relents to outdo herself just to keep you happier and happier?

LOVES.

In other news, the stress level of my life has been increasing exponentially - and that's novel. Joygasms are my thing, never stress was. So many things to juggle. The Significant Other gets my highest priority. Then (in random order) comes school work, friends and the EXtra stuff. And no, that's not a misplaced upper case X.

Engine has already begun its preparation for next year's Open House, Orientation and annual Final Clash. I've already been promoted to Diploma Head Leader (actually it's more of Diploma Head Trainer, but I wanted the DHL initials) for the next year. My assistant [whom I actually take as more of an equal] is my former comrade since back in the day of being a Diploma Head myself, Muhammad Ali. No, not the boxer. Yes, the Engineering Warrior/Pimp. Now, it's our turn to pick the Dip Heads for the coming year. It ain't easy. It takes quality in quantity.

For Open House, I've already been put in charge of the Engine Dance Crew, which might I add, is more difficult than it sounds. A specific member of my crew, who also so happens to be my [Co-]Diploma Head Leader, can't dance - he pimps. I have no idea, but for some reason, the idiot managed to get 7 girls to dance with him at jam and hop - and only 2 of them he really knows.

His uncanny and unexplainable ability to turn into a chic magnet can come in useful for our [fucking hell FREE] performance at the Open House. But in the meantime, the Subordinate Asshole must unlearn pimping, and learn proper dancing.

Ali oh Ali, aren't I an ashhole? XD

Hrm asides the S.O, the DHL, and the Dance Crew, I've got the straight As to score. I've already gotten an A for my Organizational Communication test. So that's a first step in a flight of hundreds. Ain't that joygasmic?

Aaanyway, been reading Scott Adams' masterpieces of literature (no, not books related to the O level subject; I'm talking about books, stories, novels etc.)

If anything, God's Debris did not help me find the switch off/standby button for my brain. Though presumed fiction, the darn book contains many facts that kinda let you see through and break free from a lot of society's countless delusions. Misconception is the modern day perception.

But the thought experiment that is God's Debris was but a stage rehearsal of the story. The Religion War, its sequel, was truly the grand performance. I give six thumbs up to Scott Adams. Mixing modern-day misconceptions, truths, and pouring them into a mix of war and politics.

Don't judge a book by its cover, they used to say. Don't judge a book by its genre or what the titles say.

dot.dot.dot.

If the world was small, Asia was smaller, and Singapore was mini... the East Side is indeed Microscopic. There'll always be someone from one of my social groups who would know someone from another one. It's scary. And I don't need friendster or any online network thingymajigs to help me connect the dots (though I admit, it would certainly speed up the process). That's how freaking small my enormous world is.

So, if you need to find a friend of a friend of your friend, you can always find me first. That person is prolly a friend of my friend, or directly my friend, or still a friend of a friend of my friend. Hell it didn't even matter if he/she/shim/it was a friend of a friend of a friend of my friend. Either way, I can find 'em. I may have lost the title of World's Most Powerful Search Engine to Ilyana, but I sure as hell am still the World's Most Legitimate Powerful Asshole.

Hey, I TERRAFORMED my room to become uninhabitable. Beat that! Heh XD

Oh So Long

2006-11-07T01:39:00.000-08:00

Okay, after much bugging and getting smacked countlessly on the arm... I have finally blogged again.

Okay, what's there to update on life?

Hrm, well, for starters, the S.O. and I have finally past the 5th Month mark and we're still going on strong. BOTH my parents know about my relationship now. Even weirder, dad actually allowed me to go shopping at the Geyland Bazaar together with Ilyana on Hari Raya's Eve. Then then then, he even let me shop for my own baju kurung with my girlfriend. LOLOL

Then, of course, there's the whole "she's met my mother" and "I've met both her parents". I've already gone over to her place for Hari Raya, though she hasn't visited mine. I swear, her dad scares the shit out of me. He may be nice and all, but his appearance and presence can easily intimidate you.

Well, I'm just gonna have to eventually get used to that. Marrying R Ilyana is my vision. XD

In other news, my social circle has exploded a second time this year - and yes, it's after ETC and Orientation (OCT Intake). This time round, ETC stands for Energi-X Training Camp instead of ENGenius Training Camp. The new name wins. Of course, I found myself getting promoted... well, somewhat. I'm now an X-OR, which was originally and formerly known as FA (Facilitator). Cannonz apparently is planning to start an unofficial X-OR club. It's unknown whether he'll succeed, but I certainly hope he does.

During the ETC, I kinda met a whole bunch of new people - some very interesting ones. Ahmad, Zul, Ira, Miza, Rizki, and Saidil are just a handful of them, but they're the closest to me thus far. If I were given the choice to select Dip Heads for the upcoming Apr '07 orientation, these guys would automatically fall in my short list.

Hell, I even went Hari Raya visiting with them. Conniving little buggers, they invited Ilyana along... and when she goes, I can't refuse. Ilyana, Ira and Miza get along fine... which is rather frightening.

Hrm, the Oct Orientation went rather smoothly. I, along with most of the other X-ORs, had double-duty as a Dip Head as well. I didn't take MTN (Mechatronics) this time though - that position was given to Xin Long instead. Mr Carona Chicken did a tremendous job, even though it was for 5 classes only. Thankfully, the number of classes in this orientation dropped dramatically. I was put in charge of IFC (InfoComm), and I only had 1 class. It was relaxing. Though I inevitably helped Gerard with his ETCM load. He had 5 classes. But since he and I were stationed in the same corridor, I took his last 2 classes and so the load of EN17-5 was evened out between the both of us.

Hrm hrm hrm. What else...?

Oh, driving has been really really fun, though I have yet to book my remaining lessons for Nov/Dec, and my Final Theory test, and my Practical Driving test (which might I add, I can only take during end Jan).

Oh, in case many of you are wondering why I'm hardly online anymore, it's because my laptop got hit by a virus... and my panicky ingenuity kinda resulted me in uninstalling my wireless card. Fuck.

Oh well, I'm gonna reformat my laptop soon... God-Willing. Then I'll finally be able to finish off my Alpha episodes, and my SIX novel. Oh, the first novel for the latter saga is titled SIX: Whiteshadow. FYI only.

Okie dokies. I better go now. Typing on a Mac keyboard is fun but waaay tiring. I'll update again when I can. Take care ya'll.

Err?

2006-09-26T21:18:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th Month baby! Yesterday was great! lol... finally got to see you in the penguins. XD

Though technically it's like 6 1/2 months in total. Haha

Hrm... let's see... what do I blog about?

Oh, yes. To the dance ppl, sorry I couldn't come along last fri. Had lots of things on that day. Well, I hope you guys had fun.

Erm... What else?

Oh, yes, Stargate: SG-1. Damn the bosses of the Sci Fi channel! They cancelled SG-1 and have denied them the opportunity to continue the series on another tv network. Assholes! Now SG-1 is supposedly planned to turn into a series of television movies.

I say screw it! Go find another broadcaster and start filming season 11! It's just not the same when you have a tv series for 10 years suddenly stop and turn into a tv movie series. Sighs.

Well, at least Sci Fi is still airing Atlantis. Oh, I love the SG-1 and Atlantis mid-season cliffhangers. Damn nice writing... Though I have to say, it kinda sucks having to wait 6 months just to be able to watch the conclusion.

In other news, I finally got to watch Doctor Who! Well, just 1 episode, but good enough. It's funny... David Tennant still has a little Barty Crouch Jr. mannerisms. The psycho-wide-eyes, the freaky grin. Lol... It's really amusing.

Hrm, I wanna go watch more Doctor Who on youtube now. I'm hooked. XD

Weirdness is in the Air

2006-09-16T07:07:00.000-07:00

For the 4 to 5 years that I've known Guan Peng, I've realized that we have lots in common... Which somewhat led to us creating Smasak & Legender, Rainbow Lightsaber Inc., and Oceanshadow... but I find it highly amusing that both our current gfs are sick and just plain refuse to go see the doctor.

Sighs. I thought I was stubborn... And then I met her. lol either way, i still love her so.

My dad knows about her, apparently. He's seen the both of us together loads of times - at least now I know where I got my photographic memory and ninja abilities from. But it's scary... Especially since he seems okay with it. He told me that I could go out and date her - just so long as it's not on his expense, and i practise restraint and avoid premarital sex at all cost. lol

I don't know which is more disturbing - the fact that he knows about me and her; or that he's okay with me and her.

Hrm... Weird. So almost all our parents know about us dating now. Ooooh

In other news, for the first 2 weeks of October, I'll be taking my Driving Practical lessons. Whoo! 10 days in 2 weeks. Hecticness and fun at the same time. Looking forward to it! lol

I came back about twenty minutes past midnight last night. Went to the airport with Ilyana. She, Wendy, Rika, Jasmine, and a whole lot of her friends involved in the Japanese Cultural exchange thingy were planning on seeing off the jap students before they returned to motherland Japan. We reached the airport at around nine, and waited till eleven plus. We were thinking of all funny possibilites that could explain why they were seemingly late. We were filled with utter disappointment when we left the airport, since most of us had curfews and we didn't get to see the japs.

Turns out... They had checked in and were in the passenger waiting area waaay before we arrived at the airport even. Indeed Japanese are punctual. I gotta pick up that trait from them soon.

Well, I just learnt my younger cousin is in Ngee Ann Sec. Atiqah's in Normal Acad, and also in Table Tennis. Goodness. I just hope my old teachers dont find out she's my cousin. Sighs

Well, I'm tired and should probably go off to bed now. Going to the cemetery before sunrise tmr morning, gonna take care of my grandparents' graves and read prayers for them just before the fasting month starts. I'm just slightly afraid of going to my maternal grandmom's grave before sunrise - since it's located under this thick, huge, dark tree. God protect me, please.

Okay, then, I better get going. See ya'll. Take care!

P.S. Ilyana, my angel, I love you so XDDD

Then and Now

2006-09-11T03:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, about a week ago, I was worried about my Driving Basic Theory test. Now, I'm worried about my Final Theory that I'm gonna take on the 19th of October. Scarreh! I know many people tend to fail the Final Theory. I hope I'm not gonna be one of them.

Well, currently, the plan is for me to take up my Practical Driving Lessons while I'm still on semestral break. So, by the time Hari Raya comes, I'll be able to drive - especially when I go out with my friends, and DEFINITELY when I go out with Ilyana. lol

Hrm... Speaking of her, I just accompanied her to Kino today. But before that, I met her in TP's IT school. Things were fine at first, and then my estranged cousin, Najib, happened to be in the area. Like panic sia. I DO NOT want to be spotted by him when I'm with my dearest. He'll prolly mention it to his dear mom, who in turn, will complain to my dad. That's like the bloody perfect recipe for disaster la.

Oh, and speaking of Ilyana... I've been together with her for a total of 6 months throught our entire lifetimes thus far. Well, it's 6 months at least, but it's a long time for me. lol. I love you baby! XDDD

In other news, I finally got myself a copy of Microsoft Windows, and the Movies too. Oh, oh, oh... You guys prolly know I'm a CSI fan, well not a serious hardcore one, but reasonably fanatical enough. The other night, Saturday night to be exact, bujan came back and installed the CSI game on her laptop. Goodness. I spent the entire night/morning playing the darn thing - and I completed levels which even she couldn't heh. I stopped playing at 3.30am, and I only went to sleep at 4. lol

Of course, that made me all drowsy and giddy yesterday. I had a really bad headache due to all the insufficient sleep. Goodness. It was hell la. I'm still feeling les than 50% today. But I guess I'll survive.

Will be going over to my cousin's place later to get my copy of Adobe Photoshop from him. Oh, and guess what? I just remembered I still havent submitted the warranty card for my laptop yet. I guess I better get it done soon, huh? Goodness. Sometimes I hate my deteriorating memory.

Hrm... Recently, I've been developing this huge fascination with First-Person Shooter games. And somehow, that led me to getting hooked to Aliens Vs. Predator 2 again. Goodnessssss. Well, its either the gameplay and graphics are good, or just that I pwn the game... Or maybe both. Either way, I love playing it.

Though I wished Ilyana would join me and play the darn game with me online. Sheesh.

Anyway, I guess I'll be going now. Once maghrib starts, I'm gonna go pray and head straight to Bhai Nuruddin's place. So, till then, take care all. See ya!

Games Games Games

2006-09-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

I am officially inclined to buy City of Villains. Yes, that's the MMORPG that requires a monthly subscription in order to play... But it's a damn nice game. Well, the game has 2 variations - City of Heroes (where, like duh, you get to create and play your own superhero); and City of Villains (you get to kickass as an uber-powerful badass).

Personally, I feel that the heroes thingy is waaay done and overrated. It'd be nice to play the bad guy in a game once and awhile.

Well, speaking of games, I'm kinda pissed coz I can't play Medieval: Total War on my new laptop. Crud! It's so fucking unfair la. Sky's laptop could run it, and he bought his a year ago... Yet mine is like so fucking brand new but it can't do shit with the game. Sighs. Oh well...

Anyway, I've been spending a lot of time with Ilyana lately. And she's somewhat developed this fascination for watching me play Hitman: Blood Money on my PS2. lol.

And like ZOMG! She finally watched a Hindustan movie with me. Like lololol

Hrm... Tomorrow's my Driving Basic Theory test at Comfort Driving School, and I'm not really sure if I'm all that ready for it. It seems a little scary for me actually. Sighs. Must study.

Well, the thing is, even if I do get to study and memorize everything in that God-damned book, I'm not even really sure how to get to the driving school. I suck.

Oh, and to the late Steve Irwin... R.I.P. You deserve at least that after your lifetime of adrenaline rushes while trying to provoke Death. I hope there are many crocodiles in the afterlife, so that you may still continue to do what you love to do... even after death. =D

My New Toy

2006-09-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Ash R. Sheikh reporting to you live from my new laptop. Yes people, I have finally bought my own lappie. What's the brand, you ask? Well, it's an LG... Silver frame with a yummy white keypad, which also comes with an integrated numeric pad (or NUM Pad, if you will).

How much? It should have been 1799 bucks initially, and maybe 1889 tops with an upgrade to 1GB RAM... But dad decided he'd rather pay 2199 bucks and get me something with a 2GB RAM instead. I got this stylish red/black optical mouse with it... which is uber-cool.

Many special thanks to my dearly beloved, R Ilyana, who went to explore Comex with me yesterday. Hugs and kisses aplenty from me to you. If it weren't for her constant "let's go see the LG section", I don't think I'd be having this wonderful machine. Heh... Love, now I can chat with you online 'till the wee hours of the morning when you're stuck with assignments. Nighttime won't be able to keep us apart then XD

And yes people, I bought my lappie from Comex. lol Mom and Dad were so mesmerized by my com to the point that they wanted to watch me set it up. O.o Amusing really. The only sucky part about this is that I don't have Microsoft Office installed here... And it's a serious pain in the ass.

Well, I used to have my own Microsoft Office XP Installer CD, but that kinda got eaten up by Bujan's former and original CD-ROM drive. After I installed Office on the home computer, the disc just fell apart into shards when I ejected it from the drive. =__=" Guess I gotta go look for my own other means of installing Office on my new toy.

On the bright side, at least I won't have to argue with Farhanah over using the computer anymore. Everyone, excluding my parents, will have their own computer, and individual means of accessing the internet. Wheeee! XD

Hrm... In other news, today I finally cooked my first dish together with Ilyana. She came over to my place today, and we kinda prepared our own 'rendition' of cold udon. And it was nice... Though that's kinda obvious considering she's a really damn good cook. So she, my younger sister, and I had lunch together while watching a Hindi movie in the comfort of my living room.

Funny really... She forgot and accidentally left her phone at my place when we left. Mom got home and got real pissed... She thought I had stolen a handphone or something. Then I told her some OTHER story about how I brought back the phone, though I did admit it was Ilyana's phone. Well, thankfully my mom is cool with me having a girlfriend.

Oh well, at least now I'll have an excuse to go see my darling tomorrow. XD It's been a long time since I went out, or even got to see her on a Saturday.

Things always happen for a reason... And if my experience serves me well, every shitty or crappy thing that happens in life is but yet another blessing in disguise.

Well, I have to go now... Lots of stuff to settle in my new computer. And just to let you all know, I'll be blogging more frequently from now on... Hrm, in fact, I'll be blogging everyday. XD

P.S. See baby! I'm keeping my promise again! XDDD

Not so last

2006-08-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my previous entry was a notsolast entry. Oh well... Somebody got me blogging again.

Anywho, life's been quite good. Exam comes in 2 weeks time, i'm feeling shitty about it... And thus, I shall not mention much of that here.

Hrm, lately I've also been writing up my stories. A little bit of SIX here, Alpha: D.C.C there; and I've also recently entered the creation phase for my Alpha series' spin-off - titled Alpha: Marines.

What else? hrm... Oh, I'm finally approaching the 3 month mark with Ilyana. w00t! Currently, my relationship with her is the longest, and I've been with her the most too. And of course, there's the fact that she's the one I love most. Hugs a plenty from me. XD

Oh, a few days back, I did a little searching around the net. And so happens, I found the method of 'skinning' my pc to look like a MAC OS instead of the usual boring WinXP layout.

Speaking of which, I still haven't bought my laptop yet. Dad's gonna take me to some IT fair nearing the end of this month. I've decided to get a Fujitsu though. I'm just gonna go over to the Fuji section of the fair and look for one that has damn good specs as well as a not-so-expensive-for-that-grade price. Lol... Bernie somehow managed to psycho me into being a Fujitsu fan. Rofl

Oh, funny, I played my PS2 again today, after ages of not touching it at all. Heh... Played Need for Speed: Most Wanted. I destroyed 10 cop cars in the game and damaged 25 others. More interestingly, in 10 mins, I managed to go from Heat Level 1 all the way 'till 3. I'm a damn good reckless gaming driver. =__?

And talking about driving, my Basic Theory test comes in 3 weeks time. Hopefully, I'll be well prepared for it. If all goes well, it'll be a step nearer for me to get my license and drive my family around... and Ilyana of course.

Study week starts tomorrow but I still get my allowance, thankfully. Heh... I'm going out on Thurs, somewhat to celebrate my third month with Ilyana. Currently, the plan is to eat at a Japanese buffet. Not sure if she's changing her mind or not.

Today, somehow, my love for her got boosted tenfold. I'm kinda grateful for that. I'm very thankful to God for everything he's given me - especially her. Life sure is wonderful and meaningful with her around. I love you baby XD

My Last Entry

2006-08-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Well, like the title suggests, this is probably the last time I'll blog.

It's August already, my least favourite month in the whole year.

My life's falling apart. My good relations with my family is beginning to shatter, my mind has undergone too much stress that I think it's starting to breakdown, and it's been a rollercoaster of a relationship.

I haven't whined about my life in a long time. And so I shall exercise my right to do that today.

Everybody's around me, but as usual, nobody really pays attention to me. I have put all their wants and needs before my own. I have given them priority. And not surprisingly, it just encourages them to take me for granted. They worry about my health and needs, but nobody's willing to cater to my wants. Whatever I want seems to be taboo. If they want the exact same thing, it seems perfectly fine - because it's THEIR want, not mine. Yes, I feel fucking neglected. So fuck it.

Nobody's willing to try and understand me. They just want their way everytime. There is hardly any compromise anymore. I seem to become a slave for those I love.

Fuck la. I feel like killing myself. I've had enough. I know my patience is insanely abundant, but I think it's at the moment depleted. I have reached my breaking point.

I really pray to God things will get better.

Good night people. Sweet dreams. Good bye.

Record broken

2006-07-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

2 months and a day. That's my current consecutive record with Ilyana. Technically, we've already been together for 4 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day. It will grow longer and never end, God-willing. My second month-sary was wonderful actually. Well, the day before actually, I treated her to Seoul Garden at Tampines Mall. I won't elaborate what happened exactly, but I can say that my face got painted with a mix of chocolate chip and mint ice-cream.

On the 2nd month itself, we went to Jurong Point again. Yes, in Boon Lay. lol... Had japanese food for lunch. I think I prefer the Teriyaki Chicken Don to the Bento. Why? Because they're both about the same, but the Don is about 2 bucks cheaper. There you go.

Baby, we'll go Tiong Bahru someday... After I get my licence. XD

Hrm... in other news. I think I'm going demented. I've got a few projects that I need to do simultaneously. ProgAuto (due on Mon), MachTech, and Dynamics. Well, dynamics isnt exactly a project, just 3 lab exercises that carry a high weightage of my overall result and need completion soon too.

If all that weren't bad enough. I still have to study for DFUND2 and my driving Basic Theory. Yes, many people say it's easy and you just need logic to pass. But I don't wanna take any chances with it. I wanna get my damn licence asap and take my honey on vacation. lol

Well, in the meantime, I've found some peace in reading Bernie's Band of Brothers novel, though I'd so love to watch the 10-part miniseries all over again.

I need sleep. And I need more fibre too. Today, Ali and I suffered diarrhea. Apparently, we got poisoned by the free food served at some event in Business. Well, I should've figured it out yesterday. Business is a money-minded school. So why the hell would they give things away for free? -__-"

Free food at Business made me go to the toilet to do my business. argh!

Well, skipped school today. Met Ali at the bus stop opposite TP at 10.30am. Took a bus down to the Tampines Polyclinic. Bloody crap. The place was damn crowded. It really didnt help. I had to hold my "ammunition" for 2 and a half hours. I kept on rattling my leg. Ali couldn't shut up. He was making all sorts of obscene remarks about everything around us.

The doctor confirmed we were having food poisoning. Oh oh oh. There was this woman at the pharmacy who had a rather intruiging name - Frank Siti Natra. Or at least that's how I think it's spelt. It's pronounced that way though.

Met Sharon, Salamah and Haiqal in TP today. Changkat's having the 40th anniversary concert in auditorium 1 tomorrow night. It was good to see them again. It's been a very long time. I miss the changkat peeps.

Hidayah, i don't think I can go for the concert la. My wallet's bleeding too badly already.

Since Ilyana's school this month starts in the evening, I've been going to the library to watch DVDs the past few days. Unfortunately, when the story is about to go into its climax, the tvs shut off. Library dvd section closes at 8.30, so the DVD players are terminated around then. Bummer. I was happily watching M-I-2 when the screen just died on me. I was pissed.

Sighs. The days shall get better. I have Ilyana by my side. That's enough inspiration for me. XD

My 2nd Month Gift

2006-07-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

I swear, I really need to start working on my projects earlier. After weeks of procrastinating, I only have 7 days left to finish up my Programmable Automation project. I haven't even started sia.

Ilyana had to chase me out of bed this morning just so that I can get started on my work quickly. Even now, I'm a wee bit lazy to type out my damn product report. Sighs. Just not in the mood la I guess. Oh well...

Finally! I have my own issue of SFX! It's an American-based sci fi magazine, and this issue so happens to have Stargate SG-1 on its cover! EAT YOUR HEART OUT FIQZ! WHOO!

Special thanks goes out to Ilyana for getting it for me. XDD

Many people wonder why I like Stargate so much as opposed to all the other sci-fi shows shown locally. Well, for one, Stargate is so fucking underrated in Singapore. It just doesn't get as much publicity as it deserves.

Stargate is a damn good show. Why? Because among all sci fi, it's the most believable. It's not some uber-cool science fiction series set hundreds or thousands of years ahead. It's set in present time, and it deals a lot with human emotions, Earth mythology, and our struggle to compete against some of the toughest and most advanced alien civilisations out there.

If you're not a Stargate fan, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Anyway, in less than 24 hours, it's gonna be my first consecutive second month with Ilyana! Woohoo! It's a benchmark for us. lol we've had three first months. So a consecutive second month means helluva lot.

Well, technically, we've been together for 4-and-a-half months in total. Hrm... I guess that explains why it's been only 2 months but it feels like ages already. Never have I met a person who has completely become my life. I'm complete now that I've found her.

SHE IS PERFECT FOR ME

21 July 2006

2006-07-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

Kids these days are highly amusing. While walking down one of the lorongs in Kembangan yesterday, this huge ass dog started barking at me from behind the front gate of a house. It was barking rather loudly too, like it always does when it sees me.

There was a couple walking quite a distance behind me, pushing their little baby/toddler in a pram. The lil boy started barking back at the dog. It was a bloody barking contest la, except that the boy sounded cuter. lol

I really hope I'll get a son someday. But either way, I want a daughter as my first child. XD

Oh, another amusing fact... this time about dogs. This stupid brown mop-of-a-dog started barking at me when I was about to reach the bus stop. Ilyana, that's the one I told you gave me a fright. Bloody creature. Well, the thing is, it barked at me so bad that I got really pissed and pointed my middle finger at it. The damn furball shut up immediately. Heh... Dogs bright slobbering creatures after all - they know what STFU means.

In other news, for the first time, I saw Ilyana wear specs yesterday. Of course, she's had them for ages, but she hasnt ever put them on in front of me. Well, I decided to wear my specs around her too yesterday (though of course not for the first time). And we took a little picture together.

And it turned out to be Picture Perfect. XD

It figures. After all, she is perfect for me.

Being 18

2006-07-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

It's been 4 days being 18. Life isn't all that different actually. But it has been a little more tiring than usual.

Didn't really do much on friday. It was the usual, hanging out at clubroom, thrashing people at ps2 racing, stuffing my face with Cutlet Rice from the Short Circuit canteen.

Saturday, though, was helluva lot fun. Went iceskating with Ilyana, Andrew and Ali. Actually, I was supposed to meet Ilyana at her place at 9am, and join the other guys at Eunos at 9.15... BUT BUT BUT... My stomach wasnt feeling all too well. I actually threw up.

SO, my schedule got delayed by about half-an-hour. Sighs. But the day went well. Funny thing was, Hidayah and Mas were supposed to join us too. But because the both of them somehow couldnt make it, Ali kinda got depressed. Sarah was supposed to join us too. But she blew us off and went to watch a movie with her other friends. Andrew was initially bummed. Then Sarah called him down to join them. He left too. Sighs.

After iceskating from 10.30 to 1pm, Ilyana and I were alone, and we went to eat at Jurong Point. XD But yeah, iceskating was damn fun la. lol she finally learnt how to skate, well, somewhat. For a beginner, she was real good. Kudos to you baby! XDD

There were some magical moments too. lol... synthetic 'snow' falling from the ceiling. i love... haha

Oh, ilyana and i ate at Banquet. She had Terriyaki Chicken Don while I had the Bento. The food's nice, but the terriyaki chicken tastes a bit off compared to the one I'm used to eating. Don't really know what I'm blabbing about right now coz I'm really really exhausted, but I guess you get the idea.

We went to watch POTC: Dead Man's Chest after that. The sequel, IMO, seemed somewhat darker compared to the original one. Lots of story twists here and there. Amusing la, but not really much of a conclusion. It kinda seemed a lot like Matrix Reloaded, with a cliff-hanger ending.

In other news, today, on my way to school, I kinda set a certain goal for myself. I shall get at least As for Principles of Dynamics, Digital Fundementals 2 and Engineering Maths 3 this sem. DIE DIE MUST GET As. I can so fucking score well in them, provided I push my lazy ass a lil bit more. It's gonna be difficult, but I shall... for my sake, for ilyana's sake, for our future's sake. ;D

It's amazing what love can make you do. lol

I'm really exhausted. Followed ilyana to Joo Chiat today. Spending more time with her, and her absence on certain days, just convinces me even more that some things are meant to be.

Stargate SG-1 (Season 10) and Stargate Atlantis (Season 3) have started. Thanks to my dear girlfriend, I'm getting to watch them soon. XDDD

Okay la... I guess that should be enough for now.

P.S. I'm still waiting to exercise my Singaporean rights and go watch an M18 movie. heh

Aftermath

2006-07-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday.

Ilyana, special thanks goes out to you again for making my day. XD I love you very much.

I also wanna apologise for anything and everything bad that I've done. I cherish and appreciate you and every single thing you've done for me. Thank you for completing my life. XDDD

Happy Birthday to Me

2006-07-13T05:15:00.000-07:00

Today would've gone into the records of unforgettable birthdays if it weren't for my dearest, R Ilyana.

It was pretty much a horrible day, with the exception that I got to spend time with her.

Seriously, the first thing I got today was a scolding from my dad for something I didn't do. Then there were classes which were highly depressing and stuff.

Baby, thank you so very much. If it weren't for you, my birthday would have been a fluke. Thank you for everything. I love you very much. XD

Prelude to my Birthday

2006-07-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, in less than 24 hours I'm turning 18. Whoo! Legal to drink, legal to smoke, legal to get laid. Unfortunately, I'm not gonna do either of them, well, except for the last one. But even then, that'll only come after marriage.

Aaanyway, as an early birthday celebration, Ilyana brought me to Swensens yesterday. A very delightful surprise. We went to parkway yesterday evening. She said she'd treat me to dessert as one of my birthday presents. I actually thought it was Anderson's Ice Cream. That's because we're always running into their outlets wherever and whenever we go out, and I'm always craving for the icecream.

Turns out, it's actually Swensens. Lol... My eyes were watery sia. I was so surprised, glad, and extremely appreciative la. Thank you baby, very very much. XD

Both of us had Cookie Summit. Had lots of fun in Swensens. But I shall not elaborate here.

Right now I'm in her Design lab, blogging on their Mac computers. Funny thing is, she's right beside me blogging too. She actually pestered me to blog. I'm too lazy la. Finally agreed when she suggested we blog at the same time. haha

I just haven't really had the time to blog la. Well, dear, I hope you're happy now. =D

Oh, this morning my dad just called SingTel up to upgrade my plan. At the moment, I've been using the same shitty 3-year-old Classic plan which entitles me to a mere 200 mins free talktime and 360 free smses. Starting my birthday, I'll have 500 free sms and free incoming. Ash for teh w1n!!11one!1!11one!

I told my mom I didn't want to go to some fancy restaurant for my birthday this year. 1. I'm too lazy to go out, so I just wanna slack at home and enjoy ordered-in pizza with my family. 2. I sure as hell don't wanna dress all formal again. So sick of it. =.=

Okay, work calls. I need to go back to Engine to do my MachTech project design and report which is fucking due tomorrow morning.

Okay people, take care. Blog again soon, I hope. XD

Records Beaten

2006-07-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Life is like a crazy sine wave. It has its wonderful ups, and it's horrendous downs.

Today, is certainly one of the best ups I've ever had.

I'm catching back up with work in school. I kinda love this term a whole lot more than the previous one. There are more computer-based modules, and I find it a lot easier to do.

Take Machining Technology for example. Last term was the manual-manufacturing side of it. Such a pain in the ass. Operating heavy machinery at 8am in the morning with a fucktard Goh Toh Check for a TSO. Bloody ruined my Thursday mornings la. I felt dead and depressed by noon.

Now, it's more of using Pro Engineer software in the computer lab, and generating 3D designs. So fucking easier... And I actually enjoy it la.

Then there's Principles of Dynamics. Using the computer to generate simulations as well. So bloody fun sia. I'm enjoying lab lessons now. Whoo!

I haven't gotten to the best part though.

In a week and two days, I'm turning 18! Now I'm really really excited. Since this entry is open to the public, im not gonna state why.

But but but, the best thing is, today, Ilyana and I have surpassed the amount of time we've been together the previous two times. 1 month and 1 week, and 1 month and 1 week and 1 day, records have been beaten. Us for t3h w1n!!! lololol

I'm high tonight! My love for my dearest has gone up another notch. We have a weird, amusing, but very much wonderful love story. We've been through a lot. Lot's of shit - well, we are human beings after all. Like any other couple, we have hit rock bottom... But I guess, it's the tough times that actually opened our eyes.

The first time I screwed our relationship up, which was back in early 2002, I realized how much she meant to me. I changed so much because of her. I became a better man because I felt so guilty for doing her wrong. Unfortunately, it was too late.

But I've been given yet another chance to be with her. And I don't wanna screw it up ever again.

There are times where you can get attracted to someone, and you feel like there's strong chemistry. But with her, it's different. With Ilyana, I can feel that she's the one. She's all I could ever want and need.

There is no life without her. My love for her is so strong that she IS my life.

I love you darling, oh so much.

I am complete now that I've found you. XD

ARS Throttling back up

2006-07-02T23:06:00.000-07:00

I am going to rant. I am going to whine. I am going to be pathetic in this entry.

Friday, I breathed awhile. I didn't feel so stressed out like most of the week.

Yesterday, it wasn't all that bad. I had fun in the night talking to Ilyana. Today, my mood hit rock bottom. Sometimes my mind reads too much into things. But it also seems to see things that people blindly and sub-consciously do.

I feel really really sad today. Not to the level that I'm distraught, but to the point where I can cry. Life's been really sucky lately. Fuck it.

I have been observing, and I have noticed things. Things which most definitely upset me. Things which both get on my nerves and make my eyes flood.

I am depressed. I'm starting to have my doubts this time. I need to talk to someone. I need to cry.

Today, I felt useless, unwanted and unnecessary. There were times where I even considered suicide as a way out. But I can't let my emotions get the better of me. Well, not the stupid ones at least.

One thing I know is that I'm so fucking not looking forward to my birthday already. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. I don't give two fucks about anything anymore. I am pissed, I am hurt, I am depressed. My birthday's gonna come and go like the 4 pathetic excuses for days this week.

Sighs. I sometimes wonder why other people's happiness often come at the expense of my own. And it's at least 90% of the time. I fucking hell have so many restrictions around me. So many fucking people put restrictions around me for their own God-damn entertainment and amusement. But it seems to be a sin if I did it in return. I can't fucking be happy, coz everyone else wants to.

Fuck it. Tonight shall be the last day this happens. When the sun rises, I'm so not gonna give in anymore. Tomorrow shall be my day. Stand by me or get the fuck out of my way.

I shall go back to my dark and frosty little room now, where my presently insignificant presence disturbs nobody else for the night. There and then, I shall cry my eyes out.

Good night all.

Troubled

2006-06-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

Sighs. I'm feeling really sad right now.

Stuff's been happening, and I'm feeling really stressed. Shit happened today and I'm feeling more troubled. When you put them together and pile them on my shoulders, I just feel like falling and giving in to depression.

I didn't get to spend much time with her today too. I'm missing her so.

Sighs. Sighs. Sighs.

Feeling so depressed right now. I guess I'll be my own listening ear.

Bye.

Happy Birthday Darling

2006-06-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to Ilyana!
Happy Birthday to you!

Whoo!

I'm glad you had a nice time today dear. It was good to see you laugh and smile, especially on your birthday.

Well, here's a confession for you. I woke up this morning, and the biggest goal I had for today was to give you a birthday better than those you've had in recent years. I do hope I did my job.

Glad you're happy... XD

P.S. You still owe me that M18 movie treat for being older. heh

Updated

2006-06-23T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally have the chance to update again. So here I am updating.

In three days' time, I'm gonna celebrate my third first month with Ilyana. God, i hope this time I'll be able to celebrate a first third month with her. Yesterday was my early celebration with her, since neither of us we'll be able to spend much time together considering our hectic schedules this coming term/block.

We watched The King and the Clown, it's a gay Korean movie. And I shit you not when I say gay. Literally, the King fell in love with a guy. The guy was pretty la, but still... Gay.

Hrm, after that, well, we went down to Suntec for a lot of window shopping. Spent quite sometime in Carefour. This time, a cow accompanied us instead of Winnie the Pooh.

But I swear, I really love shopping/window shopping with Ilyana. I think I've learnt more about makeup in the past month than I have throughout my entire lifetime. Well, that, and it's just fun being around her la. But I enjoy going supermarketing with her especially. It's just really really amusing. i don't know how to describe it... lol.

Hrm... Today, I've realised that I've had quite a handful of "nemesis/rivals" over the past 11 years. The list goes as follows...

Dzulkhaimi
Zarirnaziz
Guan Peng
Sky
Kai

Here's the funny thing. They were all my good/best friends at the beginning. In the case of Guan Peng, I was the one that screwed up and caused the whole bitter rivalry. For all the others, they turned on me.

Dzulkhaimi was a bastard to begin with... I don't even know why he was my good friend in the first place. I hated him since p1.

Zarir, well, stepped on my toes. And then he berated me over and over just to further fuel his already extremely enormous ego. Sighs... The typical soccer jockey/poseur.

Guan Peng, I abused his trust. So the shit that happened was completely my fault la. Well, at least that shit's all over and we're good friends again.

Sky and Kai, well, just got out of hand. Most of us already know that story, so I'm not gonna bother re-telling it in detail.

Oh well... Shit happens. I sure as hell know I'm better off without these people. So, life goes on. In fact, I'm happy with my life now.

I have the people I love with me, true friends all around me, and I'm contented with all the care and concern they've given me. To all my friends, thank you so very much. I greatly appreciate each and every one of you, and everything you've done.

In other news, I've been secretly playing Sims 2 all afternoon. I emphasize the word secretly because of two reasons.

1. By dad banned all games from being played on the computer. Yes, my biological father is a very boring old bloke who doesn't realise the devil his biological son can be. Oh well... His loss.

2. I'm supposed to be at SME's Sub-Comm camp since yesterday. But well, I have stuff to do. And I also had my lil' celebration with Ily yesterday. So, I can't make it. My parents don't know I'm home. They think I'm still in school. lol

Anyway, about Sims 2. I managed to turn my Romance Sim into a disciplined, caring, responsible bread-winning, family-oriented (well, somewhat) man. lol... First, I made him join the military. Then I got him promoted all the way up to Senior Officer, earning 600+ simoleons. After the marriage, and just one day before he turned into an elder, he got promoted to Base Commander. so amusing sia... now he earns 840 sim bucks, has a posh, huge-ass double-bungalow house. And he has the one wife and kid (daughter).

It's fun playing that game, but at the moment, I'm kinda sick of it, especially after dating it for 6 hours.

Currently, I'm the only one at home. And it feels so peaceful and quiet. I need more time like this sia... Woohoo! Can't wait to move out the moment I can stand on my own two feet.

Funny, I'm like the domestic help of this house. I'm the one keeping the house clean, and I have hell to go through when someone else makes a mess. Oh well... WHattodo? At least I know I'm responsible. Heh...

ARS for teh win! lolololololol

Brain in scrambles

2006-06-20T03:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, right now, my mind is all over the place. I'm trying to keep in mind all the plotlines and twists I just came up with for my story, while at the same time recalling all the chores I'm supposed to do after this. =__="

It's not my brain capacity that can't take it, it's the "RAM" of my brain. Processing so many things at one time can be very fucking difficult.

One thing that I remember now, is, for my friends out there reading this, please do drop by my forum when you have the time. Do help make that place a whole lot more noisy. The people I'm especially targetting are Dayah and Gerard. Ifah, you've already joined it, but you hardly post. =__=" You're on break now. Post more pls.

Anyway, ily, you still haven't done the tag-thingy. By tonight dear, pls. XP

Speaking of her, I went out with my dear girlfriend yesterday. We were just walking around Giant, when she spotted a bra left in the bread section. She immediately threw it at my face. The side of the cup hit my eye hard. It's still a little painful today, since it hit the edge of my eyelid (side of my eyeball). Girlfriends are funny creatures. XPPP

It's her birthday in a week's time, but I'm going to celebrate it with her tomorrow. Don't ask where we're going. It's far, and it'll make me go broke this week. But I don't mind. XD

Hrm, today I found out that Ngee Ann's having a campfire on the 15th July. I'm guessing my invitation got lost somewhere in the email processing server. =__=" After all the shit I endured for and because of them, they easily discard me like that. Heh... Now I know why I walked out on them. Fuck you la Wichita!

Oh, I bought this pair of blue sneakers on Sunday. It's supposed to be mom's early birthday present for me. Bemusingly, she hid them once we got home. She said she's only giving them to me on my birthday itself. That's 1 month minus 1 week more. =__="

And did I mention to you guys I went shopping with my mom and sisters on Sunday? Yes, we did. We were there from 11am until 9.30pm. I didn't wanna go actually. I intended to stay home and talk to my dear girlfriend the whole day. But NOOOOOO... Dad forced me to follow them.

Me: But I don't like going to Orchard. (Whispers to Farhanah) I'm sick of it already.
Dad: It doesn't matter if you like going there or not. The point is for you to spend time with your family.
Me: =__=" whaa...? Nevermind.

So, I went to orchard for 10-and-a-half hours. Fucking tired la. Ilyana couldn't have said it better. "You should've just camped there or something". Camping at the Royal Crown Hotel wouldn't have been such a bad idea. lol

Speaking of Royal Crown. Apparently, there was a pile of shit/vomit somewhere in the female toilet in the lobby. It wreaked. The whole lobby stunk. I pity the people eating at Cafe Vienna. Having to endure that smell... Tsktsk.

Dad dropped us at the Heeren and then he went off to work OT. But before all the shopping really began, we went to watch Cars at Lido. It was a damn good movie la. But I was missing Ilyana too much. Smsed her over and over. When you don't see your gf for 5 days because of unforseen circumstances, it's hard not to miss her. Well, after all that shopping at Taka, Far East, DFS, CK Tang, Paragon, we finally went for dinner.

Dinner was at Lau Pa Sat. Satay, Nasi Pattaya, Crayfish, Stingray... Yes, I ate all that. 10.30pm, we headed back home. Thankfully, Marcus (a.k.a. Chai Hee) came to pick us up. So much for Dad's "Spend time with the family". While Marcus came to fetch us after a long day of work, Dad was happily watching the World Cup at God-knows-where with his friends after work.

He loves how to preach. But he never practises what he preaches. At least I'm a man of my word. Dad makes empty promises sometimes. He is only my father by blood. I don't and have never recognised him as my dad. Legal guardian, perhaps; Father, most certainly not.

Well, in the car ride home, Ilyana gave me a call. I was so fucking happy la. After a long day, hearing her voice felt like paradise. Though everyone in the car knew she was my girlfriend, it still felt weird telling ilyana i loved her with my mom around. =.=

Seeing her again yesterday, after nearly a week of not meeting each other, was really REALLY good. I missed her so much. In fact, after our outing yesterday, I've started to miss her all over again. So I'm in love... Sue me.

Girlfriend, I love you. Looking forward to tomorrow. XD

I got tagged

2006-06-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, before I go about doing the taggy thingy... I'd like you guys to know that I'm using my livejournal account as well. So, at times, I might post here instead.

What were you doing in secondary school?
- Slacking, Flirting, Scouting, Maturing

5 of your favourite singers/band
- Blue
- Korn
- Jason Mraz
- Linkin Park
- Savage Garden

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire
- Buy and maintain a private house for my parents
- Buy a house with a private pool and home theatre
- Buy a ferrari
- Get Married, go on honeymoon, treat my wife to endless shopping sprees
- Buy the entire Kamen Rider Faiz toy collection

5 bad Habits
- Sleep late
- Wake up late
- Eating late
- Always late
- Return things late

5 things you like doing
- spending time with ilyana
- writing
- gaming
- watching movies
- camps

5 things you will never wear,buy or get
- never buy/wear a pink shirt/t-shirt
- never buy/get/wear(use) a gold-plated/diamond-studded dildo
- never get an operation for my hip
- never buy a Barney the Dinosaur vcd set
- never wear a bra

5 favourite things
- my 6280 hp
- my Guess? watch
- my MYUK wallet
- MONEY
- Computer

5 people to do this
- R Ilyana
- Zarifah
- Hidayah
- Gerard
- Taufiq

Bore Galore

2006-06-05T19:58:00.000-07:00

I am ser-i-ously fascinated with Kamen Rider Faiz. Since my saturday mornings are always occupied with other crap, I hardly have time to watch it on central. Besides, the dubbings there suck donkey balls.

I watched Paradise Lost on youtube.com, but I wanna watch the rest of the series. Crud! Maybe I'll go save up money and buy the entire season dvd for myself on my birthday. lol... I need to indulge. Haha

Term test week is here, and I'm seriously bugged. I have no idea what the crap I'm supposed to do for MCT. Yeah, it's a hybrid of Java Programming and I got an A for the latter during last sem, but MCT is crack! I have never been so blur abt a subject.

ProgAuto is another crappy module. I have no idea how to draw the damn circuit layout. So so blur... Goodness.

I'm not into all this mechanical or circuitry crap, so I've decided to take 3D Design and Visualisation as my specialization next sem. At least it's all abt computers, graphics and simulations... AND NO BLOODY EXAMS!!!

People in Design get it so good. They don't have to muck like us Engineers. Sighs

Well, today is duty-free day. I completely have got nothing to do. Maybe I'll go re-play FEAR again (i completed the darn game btw). Or I'll just drop by SME later in the afternoon and see who's around that I can crap with.

I'm bored.

First Week of the Rest of My Life

2006-06-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

This has been one helluva week. And it was prolly the best first week with Ilyana I've ever had. lol

It's kinda exhausting too. Went to parkway on monday, orchard on tuesday, marina on wednesday. But it was worth it... I got to spend time with my darling XD

The rest of the week I got to see her a little. We're both caught up with work. She's got assignments to do, I've gotta study for my term test that starts tomorrow. Sighs... Hopefully, we'll be able to go out again this week.

Last night, my love and trust in her went up a notch. I can talk to her about anything, and I can trust her with everything.

I love you darling

P.S. Don't say I didn't update. XP

Attached Again

2006-05-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

Whoo! After 3 months, I'm finally attached.

She's nicer than Ilyana. She's more appreciative than Ilyana. She's more caring than Ilyana.

Lol... She looks just as good as Ilyana. I love her just as much as Ilyana (that's the max i can love... lol). And best of all, she's got Ilyana's personality.

After 3 months, I'm no longer single. I'm no longer thinking of the nasty cold bitch that put me through hell.

Now, all I can think of is this... erm... angel... that's so nice, I can't even comprehend her.

Like seriously... I can sense she's really caring/loving... And she's the girl of my dreams... Wow

For those of you who don't know yet, you're prolly anxious to know her name. Heh...

Her name is...

...

...

...

...

...

...

DRUMROLL...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

R Ilyana!

ROFLMFAO... Yes, it's her again... For the 3rd time. But yeah, she's changed a lot, and she doesnt even know it. Lol...

She's everything I've loved, and more...

I'm HIIIGGGGGHHHHH! w00t!

Depression at its peak

2006-05-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

I feel damn weird today. Taking a moment to look and reflect, I feel like I'm kinda caught between my asshole self and my nicer self.

Since Ilyana left me...again...my *ahem* ashhole side has been moving at full speed. I have to admit. I've been becoming more and more of an ass by the day. Starting to do sch work and stuff, starting to help out with Engine... etc. I've become so fucking competent, but my personality has dropped in value i think.

I also kinda realised that since Ilyana came back into the picture, i've been a little cold towards her. Either it's just who I am, or the sub-conscious side of me is dying to let her know how shitty she treated me. I don't know. For the moment, I can't do anything abt it.

Then today, I actually sat down and had a chat with her in person. It felt weird. I just didnt know how to perceive and react to anything. I was such a brain-jammed zombie. wtf

She told me last night she thinks she loves me. Funny though... I've missed her all this while to the point that missing her is peanuts already. Even if i dont see or hear from her for hours, im not troubled. I guess I'm too used to her absence now.

And here's the funniest thing. In a way, I'm starting to become even more like her. Shit has been thrown at me so much lately... The stress is unnerving... I am at the verge of yet another breakdown. And that means I'll end up being more whacked than Ali.

Maybe it's because of all the problems... Maybe it's because my feelings for Ilyana are retaking their dominant role in my life... Maybe it's just me thinking too much again. I don't know. I don't care anymore.

Fuck =[

Errr

2006-05-23T07:17:00.000-07:00

I am suddenly calm.

I need to get ilyana out of my head.

I keep forgetting to post the poem i wrote about her, a month ago.

I shall do it soon.

I can't live without her. =.=

That's why I haven't had a personal life lately.

What is wrong with me?

I have her birthday present ready.

Just gotta wait a month to give it.

Bye

I love hate

2006-05-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

I've known her for months already. Why haven't I learnt my lesson?

IT IS POINTLESS TO BE NICE TO HER. Coz she simply can't recipocate to that. She just throws shit right back in your face.

Sighs... And because of her, I've been getting a serious lack of sleep lately. I purposely stayed up Sun night/Mon morning just to keep her company after she woke up at 1am. I even forced myself to stay awake until 4am just to make sure she went back to sleep - coz she needs it more than I do...

Yesterday, I was already so fucking exhausted. But I decided to stay awake until she woke up again. She was feeling kinda shitty. I wanted to know if she was feeling alright after her nap. I stayed up until 3am.

Pointless.

Why do I have to love her still? Fuck.

ZOMG! SHE APOLOGISED!

2006-05-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

Let me savour the moment.

As Ilyana herself puts it... "YES! THAT BITCH HAS FINALLY APOLOGISED!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"O RLY?"

"YA RLY!"

"NO WAI!!!"

"YES WAI!!!"

"NO WAI SRSLY!"

"YES WAI SRSLY!"

I had been waiting oh so much for that. Bloody hell. I've accepted her apology, but I still wanna run the bloody murderous javascript on her for putting me through hell. Some wounds run very fucking deep. Fuck la...

Please, Ifah, don't ever mention on this blog or my tagboard what I've been saying to you abt her for the past 2 months. She doesn't know much, so let's keep it that way...

After quite a long convo, where my favourite part was

hysteric* says:
i realised i was in the wrong
hysteric* says:
DO U KNW HOW HARD THAT IS?
A.R.S says:
OMG
hysteric* says:
o_O what?
A.R.S says:
YOU ACTUALLY REALISED YOU WERE IN THE WRONG???
A.R.S says:
OKAY
A.R.S says:
you deserve your 5th nobel prize
hysteric* says:
=__________________________________________=
hysteric* says:
ouch.

THIS FINALLY CAME:

hysteric* says:
after days of thinking (ouch ouch ouch)
hysteric* says:
I've realised it was MOSTLY my fault so I humbly (ahahhaa) apologise to you =D

Now, I can sleep peacefully at night. Now, I still hate her... a wee bit...

Hey, I'm not all Mr.Forgive-and-Forget-Easily anymore... Things have changed. Now I shall delete all the posts I don't want her to see...

Funny... She apologised today. *looks at date*

Hatred is love

2006-05-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

I hate Ilyana.PERIOD. Okay, maybe I still love her a lot... BUT I HATE HER HELL OF A LOT MORE! It was rather therapeutic telling her off... Somewhat...

Not a day goes by without her last words playing in my head. "So you gonna fuck off now?"... And the look she gave me. Oh, go die pls...

I have issues.

Weird. First time round, it was my fault she became cold. The second time round, I guess we're even.

I have no intention to meet her face to face... Not yet. Not within the next few weeks. Not within the next few months.

I am ser-i-ously pissed with her. It's about time she got a taste of her own medicine.

Everytime she's around, my freaky abilities kick in. I sense it whenever she's around. I hate it. They say if you love someone, you're blind to their faults. Now I hate her so much, I'm blind to my love for her. It's.That.Bad.

I tried so hard and got so far, in the end, it doesn't even matter...

Friday's a Stoner

2006-05-19T01:14:00.000-07:00

In school right now... Using Gerard's laptop. I'm not really sure why I came to school in the first place. Oh, right, Ali said I could get free food and drinks... Which, might I add, I did not get.

Was supposed to have MCT lab from 8 to 12 this morning. But my body was in too much pain to get up from bed. Plus, my ass was still asleep. Couldn't budge from my room. I only got up at 11.15am after subuh.

Came to school by bus, crashed SME again. Here's the funny thing. The moment I reached the clubroom, I immediately helped out with their advertising poster. They need to make posters for their recruitment drive. And thanks to Atikah's reference to the slogan generator, I managed to get a few catchy lines to help with the 'campaign'. I especially helped out with the layout of the poster. So it goes with a huge SME logo at the top, with the slogan of "Your presence is our force" underneath. Then, it finishes with a large bold "We can't drive without YOU" somewhere in the middle. It's still in the works right now. If I can get a copy of the final draft, I'll try to post it up here.

Been messaging Ilyana since I came to school. Initially, it seemed like she too had come to school with no reason. She has filming today, some weird sch project. However, nobody was free. But interestingly enough, she was persistent, and got 3 people to help her out. She's prolly doing the filming as I'm typing this.

SIghs... I've got completely nothing to do right now. I'm shagged. Really shagged. After I helped out with SME, i followed Ali to the Student Alumni Association building. Got stuff from his Japanese Cultural Group locker. Passed by Design a few times. Actually went into it twice as well. Twice to the canteen, once through the school compound itself.

I swear, it felt weird and somewhat good to walk through Design again. It's been 2 months. Goodness...

I miss Ilyana. It was good to see her again yesterday, though she didnt see me. Haha... Nonetheless, I'm still hating her. Somethings don't go away so easily.

I'm actually wondering why she's even talking to me. SHe was the one who eventually insisted never to talk to each other again... Oh well...

Now, I need to resume stoning. Not sure if I'm going for Da Vinci Code later on. My sis, Ifah, isn't sure if she can make it. ANd I'm still trying to drag Ali along. I seriously hope there's nothing in this movie that'll seriously remind me of Ilyana. THe last time I saw a movie that personal, it was Tristan & Isolde. I had a hard time watching that. Really.

Okay peeps. I shall go now. Take care... Tata for now.

With a name like Ash, it has to be good

2006-05-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

I tried out the slogan webbie that Atikah visited. I got really weird slogans... Most of them are actually kinda innuendo...

The first was
"Ash - It does the Body good"

then came
"See the Ash, feel the shine"

"The Ash of Champions"

"Show me the Ash!"

"You press the Ash, we do the rest"

"Tough on Dirt, Gentle on Ash"

"Loves the Ash you hate"

"Ask the man from the Ash"

"The curiously strong Ash"

"Let your fingers do the walking through the Ash"

"Is the Ash in you?"

"Things happen after an Ash"

...this could go on for ages...

...Atik, you're so gonna love this one...

"Ring around the Ash gets your whole WASH clean"

and what the hell does "Cleans right around the Ash" mean??? =.=

THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

DRUMROLL...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT ASH, JOIN ASH

ALL ASH, ALL THE TIME

MOVING AT THE SPEED OF ASH

WOW! COULD HAVE HAD AN ASH

IF YOU LIKE A LOT OF ASH ON YOUR BISCUIT, JOIN OUR CLUB

WHEN YOU'VE GOT ASH, FLAUNT IT

IF YOU WANT TO GET AHEAD, GET AN ASH

...

and here's my golden ticket...

What can Ash do for you?

P.S. The title of this entry is another slogan too...

Tired and Cranky

2006-05-17T03:30:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, im exhausted and highly snappy.

Had appreciation lunch just now. Deanne was actually nice enough to talk to me again, after God knows how many weeks. See, that's the weird thing about girls. They say something but they don't mean it... Generally speaking...

One such example is Ilyana. Yes, I confess, it's great having her to chat with again... But it's not so overwhelming as before. I'm not gonna lie and say all my negative thoughts and emotions toward her have vanished into thin air.

As much as I love her, I'm still holding a very big grudge against her. Somethings don't change. I've kept my promise to her, and I've stayed single. In fact, I'm sorta just surviving with single life. I've been surviving that way for so long, I'm actually very used to it.

Though someone please explain why her photo was the first thing I uploaded into my phone the moment I got it. Someone please explain why I've never swam more than 23 laps anymore. Explain why I actually study in class. Tell me why I restocked my cupboard with black and threw away my adidas shoes. Someone please tell me why I waited for her.

My freaky abilities seem to work only when she's around now. Freaky indeed.

It's very funny. I spent the past couple of months praying I'd be able to see her again one day. I prayed so hard for her to come back to me. Now that we're on talking terms, I'm not really all that head-over-heels-wants-her-to-be-my-girlfriend.

For now, I'm contented with her being my friend. We've caught up a little, and she's still as annoying as usual. I wouldn't have it any other way. I still love her though. But apparently, the channel for that strong emotion to come out is being blocked by the huge grudge im holding against her. Not a single day passes by that I don't remember the last few words she spoke to me 2 months ago.

I hate her for it.

Well, in other less depressing news, I skipped AGM today. Was supposed to attend the BIE club annual general meeting. I guess I'm too worked up and worn out to go for it. Guys, I'm very sorry I can't attend. Iris, I sincerely apologise as your friend and fellow Dip Head for not being able to come for the AGM. I'll make it up to you all.

Sighs... Gonna start playing FEAR again soon. Bernie got shitscared when he started playing last night. Dude, now you know the shitty thoughts and feelings that spiked through me when I played it. Welcome to the club. ROFLMFAO

Old Ingredients, New Recipe

2006-05-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

After a whole day of scaring myself shitless, I finally have a little time for self-reflection (after oh so long).

One thing I noticed is that much of my past is somewhat suddenly popping back up in my present life. It's scary, somewhat, and very much meaningful - to a certain extent.

Firstly, I realized I'm writing a story of my old self, and my old/former brother. The classic Smasak & Legender story. Sighs... Haven't been Smasak for about a week or so already. Haha... The part that's new is the little inspiration that I got playing F.E.A.R. And of course, from my lovely Stargate. Heh... Fusion of the old and new. I guess that's what this stage in my life's all about, no?

Secondly, I'll be hanging out with a lot of old friends, too. Zarifah, Phoebe, Justin, my five children. People that I have been hanging out with quite often in the past. But over the one month that I've been committed to Engine as a Diploma Head, I haven't been in touch with them. All my friends sort of got cut off from me during this period. And now it's the time I'm reconciling old bonds.

Lastly, but most definitely not the least, Ilyana posted a comment on my livejournal. I must say, it was a very unexpected surprise - a somewhat pleasant one at that. I take like over 2 months to get over her, and she pops right back in - eventhough somewhat briefly. It just proves me that I can really get rid of my feelings. I just bury them deep somewhere inside. And quite honestly, I think that's the best thing that's happened all day. It's gonna be 2 months since we last spoke in a week's time. Lol

Well, anyway, I gotta go off now. Considering playing F.E.A.R again. Goodness... Hope I have the sufficient balls to play it again. I'm in the middle of Alma Wades' hellhole. Shit happens very frequently in the game. Maybe I'll just take a raincheck and play it during the day tomorrow.

Whoo! Appreciation Lunch for all mentors is on Wednesday, 1pm. W00t! Free lunch! Kenny, you bastard! You still owe me a drink. That's what you get for arguing with a comic/superhero fan-geek.

Conquered by the game

2006-05-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

Warning: Extensive Vulgarity

That's it... I confess! The game has beaten me. I cannot take it already... Goodness...

I climbed down a ladder only to see the mini-sadako-in-red-dress standing in front of me. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It scared the living shit outta me.

The game is cool, but highly absurd as well. I jump into the sewer carrying a rifle. Little sadako comes through the sewer wall running at me. Bullets dont do shit... She suddenly disappears through the pipes.

That is one scary little girl. Alma Wades wins Sadako anytime. Sheesh... When I got to the ladder part, I was worried I'd see Alma at the bottom of the damn thing. When I turned around to climb down, there she was. FUCKING SHIT!

I immediately quit the game and came back online. F.E.A.R is crack!

I'm no horror buff, so this kinda shit is way over my head. Not gonna try and reach for that level. It's too much for me.

FEARs

2006-05-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

Never before have I been so scared shitless by a computer game before. I've been playing F.E.A.R these past two days, and I swear... I'm really freaked out. Dark environments... Corpses popping up just next to you, talking to you... Little girl with gray skin, long black hair and red dress running around wherever you're supposed to go. OMGOMGOMG

Sighs... Been feeling extremely lethargic since yesterday too. Migrane somewhat. I'm supposed to be in sch right now. But nooooo... I'm still sitting on my ass in front of the damn computer. Haven't been getting enough rest lately... Not proper rest at least. I'm so darn exhausted.

This week, I shall not be a Dip Head. I shall be the quiet old me that goes home right after school. But I promised to help/follow Ali upgrade his wardrobe. So once that's done, I'm gonna start being a 'homie'. Lol... Sis, I shall try your concept now. Hahaha...

My mental fortitude is seriously depleted. I need Me-Time. I haven't had that in too long a time. Been dedicating too much to friends and school. I haven't had much of a personal life this past 1-2 months.

Well, things have been changing rapidly for me recently. I can only hope it's at a pace I can adapt at.

Okay then people... I gotta get my ass to school. Got Engine Maths 3 tutorial at 1, followed by a dastardly boring 3 hours of Programmable Automation lab. =.=

I need a life.

New Bonds and Old Ties

2006-05-12T05:12:00.000-07:00

Gerard, Ali, sorry for bailing on you guys yesterday.

Well, yesterday I went to meet up with my 'sis', Ifah. I have paid my debt. And I added in a little interest. Not exactly to her.

I met her best friend, Farizah, whom, might I add, has the most beautiful smile i've ever seen. She's very friendly too... And like me, she lives to annoy people. Haha...

Well, managed to catch up a lot with ifah. Heh... My old pri sch best-friend-turned-rival is in her poly now. Goodness... Zarir is a serious jerk. Playboy too.

Back in the day, he seemed to like every single girl that I liked. The bastard. And he kept on winning the hearts of the gals, simply because he was better looking. I admit. I'm still keeping a grudge against him to this very day. I regarded him as a brother then. He was my first best friend in pri sch. We were tight. But but but, he got new friends and alienated me. Even humiliated me a lot.

Well, Zarir, you got yours now. I hope you suffer over and over again until the day you die. Then, may you rot in hell by the devil's backside.

Aaanyway, I'm not sure if I'll be going for Xinlong's birthday party/chalet tomorrow. Not sure if I have the energy to go. I'm still pretty much exhausted. Haven't had much time for myself lately. But things are gonna change.

Recuperating

2006-05-10T22:05:00.000-07:00

Shagged. That's all that comes to mind right now. My ass is aching, and my entire body is cramped. Whoever said you don't get exercise in poly, is craptastically nuts...

Had MachTech lab lesson this morning. Can't believe I wasted 4 bucks on that =.=
It is, by far, the WORST module I've ever taken. Shit hell... I don't mind handling all the heavy machinery. In a way, it helps me work out and lose all that extra weight I've gained over the past few weeks. I'm chubby now. Crud...

Anyway, the part I hated most about the lab was HOW i had to operate the machinery. I was a complete blur sotong. Coz everything had D&T written all over. Diameter this, countersunk that... Pure hell I tell ya... The worst part about is, LAB LASTS FOR 4 DAMN HOURS! Bloody sheesh...

Now, the crap is over, and I've spent the past hour in the comfortable aircon of the SME (Society of Manufacturing Engineers) clubroom. SME is the social/studies club for Mechatronics students in TP. Heh... The good part about being Diploma Head, is that I belong to every club now... Well, relatively. Haha... They all let me crash their clubrooms. SO whattheheck... Lol

Oh, Yong Tian, my partner Diploma Head for Mechatronics, is the new President of SME. Had I opted to sign on for SME, I'd prolly end up being Vice-President or something, since I'm somewhat new and I'm Yong's junior. But I'm not into all these politics. I'm just around to help Engine, and correct when cockups occur. In other words, I'm the Freelance Specialist of Engine. Hahahah

2 more hours to go to Engine Maths 3 tutorial. Then after that, there'll be Principles of Dynamics tutorial. An hour each, and 5pm will finally come. Gonna slack in one of the clubrooms again later on. Leave sch at 6, head to interchange to repair my glasses. Sheesh... My right screw came loose and the lense fell off. Sighs. This is like the 14823754127385418927345123th time this has happened. Goodness...

Now, let me see the debts I owe.

I owe my dear sister, Zarifah, a sundae. Likely gonna clear my debt later.

I owe my other dear sister, Phoebe, a movie treat. Gonna treat her to X-3.

I also owe my 'dad', Justin, a movie treat. Shall drag him for DVcode.

I owe myself more hours of sleep. Shall sleep early tonight.

I owe my tummy a good lunch...

Hrm... Better get working on that last debt. Fod's seducing me from afar... I shall head to the canteen now... I'll see ya guys around. Take care all... Astalavista...

New Order

2006-05-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

As of Wednesday, 10 May 2005, I officially hate all Designers. A certain designer, who'm I have been seeing around lately, had this air of arrogance about him. And it hit me right smack in the face how badly Ily had treated me. Designers have unmatched egos and they live in their own world.

And today, 10 weeks after Ily dumped me a second time, my hate for her has finally surpassed my love for her. Thank God...

The only two similarities she and I have left in common are:

1. We hate each other
2. We both have sworn off relationships

I've had it. Enough is enough.

Anyway, in less pressing news... My old mentor came back to TP today - Ra'sh. Lol... He and I think on the same frequency. He even aspires to be an RSAF pilot like me. The only differences are that he's graduated, and he has attended Basic Commando Training in the army.

Initially, I was feeling very much discouraged from signing on for the Air Force. But today, the Master has reminded the student not to give up. He has brought out the hopeful in me. Ra'sh, thanks a bunch man!

Oh, both Angela and Shahidah have remarked that I look very unfriendly. They say I have this very angry anti-social face when I walk around. Lol... Ohkay... Nehmind. Shall take what they say under advisement. I shall try to be more friendly now. Haha.. Like I always say, there's always room for improvement, and there's always a first time for everything.

Yesterday, myself, Ali, several other mentors and facilitators went out for dinner to celebrate Melissa's (FA) birthday. We smeared her birthday cake all over her face. And for that, we guys got bitten by her on our arms. Her bite mark is still on my arm. It's swollen now, and it hurts donkey balls.

After the celebration, we went to the block opposite Srisun Parata Paradise to play games. lol... yeah... We were like little kids sitting in a circle under the block, and playing "Go back jump, go jump go". Haha... Fun stuff.

Now I'm unsure as to whether I wanna go with the Dip Heads for Ice Skating this weekend, or if I wanna follow the rest of the FAs and Mentors for Xinlong's birthday chalet. Hrm... Decisions decisions.

And before I go off... There's one thing I wanna clarify. People, stop calling me Ashraf. It's Ash now... Raf is my middle name. They're completely separated, so call me Ash only. Kapeesh?

Rising from the ashes

2006-05-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

Well, since I've been given a new identity, new look, new friends, new perspective, and a new life, I thought it fitting that it came with a fresh new blog.

Here's pretty much how my life has changed...

Firstly, it's coming to two months that I've been surviving without Rabiatul Ilyana. Yes, she still haunts my thoughts, but the horrid effect's not as bad as before. Not a day passes that my last moments with her play over and over in my head. I've gotten used to the pain, somewhat...

Anyway, secondly, I've grown to love Engineering so much. I used to hate it back when it was stale and oh-so-boring... Now, it's been woken up. Engineering has become a hyped and fun-filled school. Heh... It's so darn great, that I've been stayin in school until 7-8pm. Sometimes I stay all the way 'till 9 or 10pm.

Oh, and I am the underdog no longer. I can walk down the Engine concourse and at least half the people there know me. Not to mention, I have actual friends from my school now. We hang out and crap a lot together, and we help each other out with our academic and social problems.

Thirdly, my cupboard finally has much black in it! w00t! Yes, I have more black clothes now. And there's not a damn thing my dad can do about it.

Fourthly, I'm doing relatively well in class now. I can actually pay attention. Oh, and here's a little something that happened today. Since I was sick last week, I wasn't aware of a tutorial I had to do. When I went for EMath3 class just now, this cute lass sat down beside me. She was a math genius... She offered me her work - she asked if I wanted to write one of her solutions on the board so that I can get class participation points. Like WHOA! Initially, I was having a little uncertainty regarding the topic, she noticed and helped me out. O.O Her name was Christina.

Lol... She was very nice. But nah, she ain't my type. Haha

Oh, last but not least, I've finally gotten my creative juices flowing. I've actually started back on my writing. I'm currently producing a written series, and I'm still working on my Real Legends SAGA. I hope I have the mental fortitude to keep this up.

Well, Desperate Housewives is starting, and I should get going. I'll see you guys around. Take care people...